Turning down the temper(ature) with A.C.C.

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Good Sunday Evening Readers,

I received some feedback that I should share more content with tips for parents and kids with ADHD. This tip comes from my professional experience working with kids that have AHDH, it really is useful for any frustrated child.

I want to start with the definition of frustration. The Cambridge dictionary defines frustration as the feeling of being annoyed or less confident because you cannot achieve what you want, or something that makes you feel like this. I start here to emphasis that frustration is a feeling driven from a perception of loss of confidence towards a want and not a person. It is important to remember whenever a person is frustrated it is the way they are handling the feeling of loss for not connecting to their desires. Not the people or processes.

So this brings me to the first point when trying to diffuse tempers behind frustration. Acknowledge the situation. What is the desire? Why does the person feel that it is no longer obtainable in the present? Have the person identify the situation verbally, if possible, is the first step towards resolving rage.

Step two is based on my experience working with children who are academically behind in reading. Step two is to commit to continue. Committing to continue discovering how to unpack the frustration is better done from outside in. We often do not see how our frustration manifests towards others. We believe it is something we are managing and prefer to do so alone. However, when we become aware that someone is willing to commit to the process of continuing to work with us despite not knowing exactly how to do so, we can begin to take comfort in not being left alone to figure this out. Our guards lower and allow for a refreshing breeze of guidance into our space.

Lastly, In turning down the temper using the A.C.C., is to Care to Correct.  This is a step that requires careful discernment on knowing the tolerance of the other person to release frustration and become open to assistance. This is the phase when many give up in frustration when faced to face with the feeling of frustration. This spirit is highly combustible as it is a careful exchange of power between the two people. Offer one suggestion at a time. If not accepted, stop but continue to look for another opportunity to guide. Slow and steadfast. Don’t overpower but show genuine care toward the process of helping the person release the frustration. Literally cool off. This should be the ONLY objective of success at this point.

Thank you for taking a moment to read about a quick, not necessarily easy, way to help children process the feeling of frustration. Remember feelings are ALWAYS warranted. They are an inalienable right and do not require justification for them to be right to the person who is feeling it. Honor their process and help create an awareness for the child to self monitor how to access their resources in dealing with frustration.

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